Servant Mage

Author: Kate Elliott
Published: 2021
Audience: Adults (appropriate 14+)

Thirty years ago, the Liberationists overthrew the monarchy and ushered in a new society built on entrenched inequalities. When any peasant is discovered to have magical abilities, they are taken from their families and forced into indentured servitude to the upper classes. 

In this setting we meet Fellian, a low-level fire mage assigned to clean and create magical lamplights for her master's establishment. In between washing privies and scrubbing floors, Fellian carves out small acts of defiance by secretly teaching her fellow servants how to read. 

Then one day, a chance to escape. A group of Monarchist rebels offer her the means to freedom in exchange for her joining them on a mission only a Lamplighter can complete. But the Monarchists have their own secrets and agenda...

As Fellian becomes embroiled in a conflict between factions, she must choose between duty and purpose. But first, she will need to survive a world more dangerous that she could have ever imagined...

Review:

Written by American author Kate Elliot, ‘Servant Mage’ is a tale of elemental magic, wraiths, rebellions, dragon queens, political upheaval, and secrets, all told through the eyes of an enslaved Lamplighter mage. For five years Fellian has been forced to work as a servant mage, torn from her family and homeland, but she is determined to carve her own fate. 

This premise should make for an enthralling read, but despite being the protagonist, Fellian unfortunately does not make for a compelling character. She agrees to join the Monarchists in their mission in exchange for money and a travel licence so she can escape indenture and finally return home. Yet for large tracts of the novella, she has very little agency and is essentially just shepherded from one location to another with no input on her part. When Fellian does actively make a decision, it often lacks impact due to an absence of any viable alternatives for her to credibly choose, or context is given too late in the story for her reasons to have any emotional weight. Despite having a driving goal, Fellian does not undergo a transformative character arc or personal growth, infusing a stagnant quality to the narrative.

There is also a misalignment between what the story tells us about Fellian and how she actually behaves. Fellian is someone who watched her parents die for opposing the government, was enslaved and subject to indoctrination, and has now been forced to go on the run with a group of strangers and risk her life for a cause she has no personal investment in. However, rather than behaving with the caution and pragmatism of a nineteen-year-old survivor, she comes across as a poor combination of childish and mouthy. Fellian is snarky to those she knows are more powerful than her, is easily manipulated into the joining the Monarchists’ plan, and is prone to asking thoughtless and invasive questions at inappropriate times. Worse, these queries appear less like Fellian trying to bond with her new teammates - or learn about the world she has been kept ignorant of - and instead comes across as ham-fisted manufactured excuses for the author to info dump about the story’s world building and politics. This has a detrimental effect on Fellian’s effectiveness as an engaging protagonist and makes it difficult to become invested in her journey.

The supporting cast are no better. The captain is the loyalty-driven determined leader, Haolu is a calm and steadfast earth-mage, non-binary Invi explains what things were like before the Liberation revolution, Shey is the annoyingly-handsome male love interest, and Erlonvia is the shy and blushing female love interest. Despite each person having vastly different origins and magical abilities, their characterisation rarely extends beyond performing their basic story roles and token traits, rendering their personalities simplistic and interchangeable. 

The narrative pacing only exacerbates this issue. Their journey lurches from action scene to action scene, pausing only for characters to spout exposition at each other in such an unrealistic and often unprompted manner that it breaks immersion and becomes frustrating for the reader. This leaves little room for character development, relatability, or humanising interactions to have a memorable impression on readers. 

‘Servant Mage’ is also rife with distractingly purple prose and odd grammatical choices that can cause confusion as to who is speaking or being referred to. As a novella, it’s short length makes it an approachable read, and 'Servant Mage' has great narrative potential for an engrossing story of magic, inequality, tyranny, propaganda, grey morality, and grassroots empowerment. However, its numerous flaws reduce it to an interesting first draft rather than a fully realised story. It would have been nice to see this potential come to fruition.

Excerpt:

“I have a job for a servant mage named Fellian who I am told is a credible Lamplighter. Young and attractive, although why my informant would bother to note that detail I couldn’t tell you.”[…]

She was tempted to put a hand on his handsome boot and scorch it. “How could I tell you since I have no idea who your informant is?”

His smile widened. “That’s not important. I need a Lamplighter. I’ll pay well, and arrange all necessary clearances from your boss.”

Don’t do it, whispered a murmur of caution in her soul while another part of her thrilled like a bird opening its wings at long last.

“It’s an impressive offer,” she temporized. Her traitorous heart raced with possibility, with chance. With terrible, painful, cursed hope.

“So you are Fellian?”